As I was walking down the hallway here at work, I noticed a woman in front of me. I couldn't help noticing her, wife, sorry.
The problem was this: She was putting *everything* on display. Not intentionally, I'm sure. Her dress was of appropriate cut and length for the workplace. The problem was the material. It was this white, light cotton affair that hung loosely around her shoulders, a summer dress or some such, one that I'm sure felt fantastic in the increasingly humid and warm environment we've got going in this office. However, what I'm sure this woman failed to take into account was the effect of florescent light upon the fabric. Without meaning to, she was flashing every nuance of her body's shape as she walked, as well as advertising her undergarments to the point where I'd recognize her bra and underwear makes if I saw them on the rack at Target.
Now, let me be clear. I understand that this happens to a small degree and in most cases is perfectly acceptable. This was not. She might as well have come in to work wearing a nightie, something provocatively see-through enough to wear on her honeymoon. It was that bad. She may as well have been walking down the hall nude.
This makes me wonder about the practical applications of the typical social contract. I was in possession of information that this woman desperately needed (i.e. "Hey, lady! Do you realize that you are, for all intents and purposes, naked right now?") but couldn't give her. She didn't know me. The news might not have been well received. She may have gotten angry. I may have gotten fired. She may have gotten reprimanded. Who knows what might have happened?
So I kept my mouth shut and my eyes on something safe--I selected her shoes, those at least were safe enough--until I turned a corner. She thankfully kept on walking and the awkwardness ended. It was then that I considered the flip side. What if she gets reprimanded or fired because no one said anything to her now? Did I, in my efforts to uphold the social contract, inadvertently partake in destructive behavior?
What was the right call? How does one deal with a situation like this?
2 comments:
I wager she's fully aware of the effects the clothing is giving her.
She knows it. She knows she's flashing a lot of T&A for the whole world to see. She also knows she's technically dressed and I'm sure the dress code doesn't say anything about "accidentally" see-through clothing. She could argue til the cows came home and, under the right circumstances, possibly sue for discrimination or harassment.
I would doubly believe this if her undergarments are dark and/or she's attractive and otherwise put-together. If she had her hair styled and make-up on, with nice shoes, she isn't stupid enough to make that egregious a fashion error.
And if she is, someone'll educate her in some humiliating way and she'll check her wardrobe on the way out the door.
Or she simply is that blind and doesn't live with anyone else or own a mirror.
In every case, I'd say avoid saying anything. The last thing the office needs is to paint you as some tongue-lolling tattle-tale.
There are two forces at play here, especially with white clothing. First is the astonishing number of woman who wear white undergarments under white cothing. Huge faux pas there. Second many people dress with the light facing them which has the effect of disguising undergarments, especially on a fair skinned woman. Once the light source changes, so can how clothing looks.
In your case, since she's a woman, unless you have a really close relationship with her you cannot say much. A woman that knows her well enough could inform her w/o much embarassment, but a stranger shouldn't comment about a womam's clothing faux pas. It's quite likely that she realized it later but cannot do anything but feel uncomfortable about it for the rest of the day.
I'm usually pretty modest about what I wear to work. I usually wear a tank under my tops so that I'm not exposing anything when I lean over. I have a friend that's constantly doing it and didn't realize it. The last thing I want to see is someone's bra. I mentioned it to her and she kept tugging at her shirt the rest of the night. I hope she's more diligent about it now, especially at work. I know in her case it definitely isn't intentional.
I find it hard to believe that a woman in an office setting would intentionally dress like that, or one that would last long if she did. I'm not sure what the culture is like there where you work.
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