A good friend wrote a "Random Thoughts" post. It intrigues me how the female mind can hold so many things at once. I say "the female mind" because Ms. R is not the only one who consistently has a lot on her mind. Wife does it too, and has written many thousands of words on the subjects since I've known her. Many things at once, though. I have a lot of thoughts too, but they usually come one at a time and are largely unimportant.
If I were to make a random thoughts list like hers, right now, it would look something like this:
* I'm hungry
* I'm bored
* I'm tired
That's it. Otherwise, all quiet in the chambers of my mind. This is actually not so disturbing as you might think. A quiet mind allows for true focus, enough to make serious attempts at telekinesis if you're like me and magical thinking doesn't trouble you.
Speaking of magical thinking, several years ago, before I married Jess and moved into the apartment, I had a dream that I wish I had written down at the time. In this dream I was witnessing events through my eyes. I was brushing my teeth. I was listening to someone in the tub next to me talk, they were talking about Cingular Wireless. I remember that because the person sounded out the word: "Cin-gu-lar", heavy emphasis on the syllables. That stood out to me, made me remember it all this time. It nagged at me off and on for the last six years or so. Why would someone in a tub be talking to me about wireless service like I was an idiot?
Well, this morning it came true.
I was standing at my sink brushing my teeth. Jess was in the tub finishing up her morning bathing ritual and talking to me of things she wanted to do this weekend. I wasn't really listening (sorry dear), so when she said it for the first time what I heard was, "see, you will."
I asked her, "See you will? What is that, Yoda-speak?"
She corrected me. "No, Cingular." She'd been talking about going to the wireless store and replacing her phone. "Cin-gu-lar."
She said more on the subject, but I didn't really hear it. I had an excuse this time for not paying attention, though. My mind had been parted like the Red Sea. Once again, I'd dreamed of the future.
People usually try to explain this away when I talk about it. They think I'm just having deja'vu. I assure you I'm not. I've scolded myself again and again for not keeping a dream journal, and this time the bite is truly painful because I had a witness to the phenomenon, and if I had just written it down I could have proven that this really happens to me and I'm not crazy.
I've never been able to "make" it happen, it just does at times. I'm asleep, and I dream, and in my dream I see things through my own eyes, like I'm actually watching my future self do things from the back seat.
It's never about anything special or significant. The first time I became aware of it, I was in Josh's house for the first time. We were playing the Mechwarrior 2 demo when it crashed in on me that I'd seen it before, that I'd been in his house before, even though I really hadn't. I'd dreamed it almost two years ago when I was still in Middle School. I was still a good year and a half away from meeting Josh, or even being in the public school where he attended class.
What shall I make of this, I wonder? More thought is required.
3 comments:
I sometimes envy the primitive routes along which masculine thought travels. As you said, it allows for deeper concentration, something I struggle with and discussed at my own blog yesterday.
No need to apologize. When you're involved in a task, you tend to not listen as well. That's another masculine behavior.
Given such, I suppose I'm more feminine-brained than perhaps believe. I think, instead, it's better to say I have more a masculine communication style. I seek out information when I need it, and don't care as much about sharing for the sake of the commune. Analyzing the feedback I've received over the years, I get the impression I lecture more than I converse. That surely isn't girly.
And yes, I'm aware that rhymes. :)
In my defense, I even said I was fighting ADD yesterday. The train of thoughts was interesting though. I at least attempted organizing them.
I've had a few similar dreams. It gets creepy doesn't it? The feeling is much more profound when it's a place you've never been before. It almost makes me feel dizzy when it's happening. Mine usually act as a warning.
I think it's fascinating that for some folks, it seems to serve no purpose and for others, it has the more classical "warding" effect. Not that one invalidates the other.
You spoke of a theory that a few scientists have proposed, that when we sleep, we experience time in a non-linear fashion. That makes sense for brief, random snatches of "vision" but what about people who have actual premonitions?
Is there a psychic element involved? Why do many of us (myself included), not experience this at all? I have moments where I feel I've lived a moment, but isn't the same.
My dreams are not prophetic, though. I rarely have believable, realistic dreams. They do not contain ecumenical symbolism. Mine tend to be very personal, vivid, exposing, cinematic, and generally are seen from the third-person perspective. I see myself in my dreams. And they tend to combine elements of things I have seen during the day.
What are your thoughts?
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