The Usual Circumstances

Interesting footnote to my birthday having gone by. The status quot has successfully been maintained: Another birthday has come and gone and I *still* have not gotten a pair of wireless headphones!

Before you ask, no. I will *not* give up on this! It is now a personal quest. Someday, someone, somewhere, for my birthday or for Christmas, is going to gift me with a pair of frikkin' wireless headphones that I can plug into my computer and listen to my music at work with. I've asked every year now for five years. I could have bought myself a pair a long time ago, I'm sure, and there have been quite a few deals in fact... but that would defeat the point of this vendetta. I'm going to intentionally be a stickler on this point. Someone is going to *gift* me with this.

It's an interesting commentary on human psychology, though, when you think about it. People do any number of things around these events, anything from dropping subtle hints to outright screaming what they want. What's odd is, the people who scream at the top of their lungs what they want are the people most unlikely to *get* it. Why? It is apparently considered "distasteful" or something by most people, to get someone something they've asked for. Odd, that.

What are your thoughts on this topic, public? Why do the people who say loud and clear what they want never get it, but the people who (intentionally or unintentionally) hint subtlely are always well taken care of?

(It's worth mentioning that this post is pretty tongue-in-cheek, so don't take it *too* seriously. ^_^)

Status Update

OK. For those that care (which I assume is all of you ^_^ ), I'm feeling much better. I made some changes to my diet by cutting way, way down on sugar and starch, increased my whole-grain intake, and brought some vitamin supplements into the equation. I feel less tired and more creative. Still feel "detached" a lot of the time, but that could just be my job. I quality check data entry for a living. The world cannot envision a more boring line of work. Feelings of unreality are probably part of the job description, maybe even good for me in this case. It could well be that my mind is defending itself; if I allowed myself to believe that "this is real" while I'm at my desk, I'd probably go insane on the spot.

As for weight loss, the extra pounds still refuse to budge. Somewhat frustrating; all told I eat about... oh, I'ma say maybe 1550 calories max a day. That's right in the "ideal band" for weight loss, as I understand it, but nothing's happening at all. I've been doing it for about three weeks and I'm still *exactly* the same weight I was when I started.

Troublesome.

Somewhat disenchanted with video games at the moment, particularly MMOs. It's strange; I'm too excited about stuff on the horizon to care overmuch about the games that are out now. Pirates of the Burning Sea was fun but no one wanted to play it but me (and I mean that in a worldwide sense, not just my friends; those servers are ghost towns), and my old haunts such as World of Warcraft, FFXI, and EverQuest have seemed to cease their respective siren's songs, at least in my direction. City of Heroes remains a fun passtime, but I find myself impatient to get to the "meat" of the game. It apparently has amazing quests and storylines, but I can't seem to find them anywhere.

EQ2 is all right, might have even scored huge with me if it wasn't identical to World of Warcraft gameplay-wise.

So, once I finish Symphony of the Night, I might hang up the games altogether for a while. Let the wife have a shot at the TV while I read my recent book purchases. Swung by Barnes & Noble last night and picked up the following:

* A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking
* Dracula by Bram Stoker
* The War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells

Those were the three that called to me. Those, and the various books located back in the Kama Sutra section. <.< Didn't pick up any of those though.

Anyway, back to the grindstone. One day this grindstone and I are going to have a reckoning, and it won't be pretty when it happens.

Happy Birthday to Me

Well, as of this morning I am 28 years old. So far, so good. I still feel about the same as I did when I was 19, with the exception of some added pounds and some lost hair. Still love video games, still long to write a novel, still need a brilliant idea for one. In other words, the status quo has been maintained overall, with key advances in some areas and some detractions in others, but nothing major yet. It's at times like this that a man can really buy into the idea that he's going to live forever. All of the evidence is there, isn't it? Twenty eight years old and I still feel and act like a kid. I am not frightened by my mortality.

Mark my words, ladies and gentlemen. I predict it here and now: I will still be this way in a century. You will find me upon my deathbed, and after I've breathed my last, you will have to pry a video game controller (or keyboard and mouse) out of my cold dead hands. If there is a new Final Fantasy or Star Ocean out that year, I'll probably be playing that. If not, I will be logged into the MMO of my choice when I go, and I will deliver unto the gaming universe my final words. What they will be I have not yet determined, but they will be sufficiently awe-inspiring, I assure you. Thinking on it now... man, I can't wait.

My wife got me a gift card to Barnes & Noble, so I should have some new reading material pretty quickly here. Also, Raw Vanilla cologne and aftershave. Apparently it drives the ladies crazy. Certainly it works on Jessica, and since she is the one lady I concern myself with when it comes to attraction, the goal is achieved. She also has purchased for me the soundtrack to Metal Gear Solid 4, a perfect choice since the game has one of the most powerful scores in gaming history and I adore it. Good job, love. :)

Tonight we're going to the IMAX to take in The Dark Knight again. Yes, it's that good. I could see it in the theatre again, and perhaps a third time. Tomorrow, my parents want to have us over, and then Sunday we're doing a sort of combined-birthday thing for myself and Jessica's mom, Julia, who turns age on the 25th. Toyed with the idea of having J & R over on one of these days, but since they were recently in a car wreck (feel better, you two /pat), I think I'ma let them heal up before I start bugging them to hang out again.

Twenty eight years. Here's to life.

Probably my favorite 'net quiz so far...

I am a Base-defender. What's mine is mine, and I make sure everyone knows it. Nobody invades my space without permission - I'd destroy everything I own before letting someone take it from me. I tend to be forward-facing, which is both a strength and a weakness. What Video Game Character Are You?

Thinking up titles for posts like this is hard...

OK. So far, no luck getting a visit to the doctor scheduled. It might have been a lot easier if we'd *had* one. Jessica and I are rarely sick, so until this point we'd discerned no reason to even sign on with a regular physician. Don't worry, I'll get into one. Just takes a bit of time, then it'll probably be a while before they can see me. In the meantime I'm taking some vitamin and mineral supplements that have been known to help out with some of the possible causes of my troubles, so we'll see where this lands us.

As Jessica has mentioned, we're going to a video game music concert this weekend, as performed by the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra. Can't wait. I very nearly sprang for box seats for this gig... in fact, I'm sure I would have if the website had been working properly. Luckily for my wallet, it failed to operate from here which forced Jessica to buy the tickets. She was much more conservative.

She's also apparently finished shopping for my birthday, and is being awfully cryptic about it. What has the crazy woman done now? :)

(Love you, crazy woman! *goofy grin*)

I had the vague idea of maybe having J & R down for another LAN party, or other gaming event, on my birthday. August 22. Thoughts, you two? What sounds good?

Symptomatic

Writing in my online journal is something of a challenge for me. I am one of those people who simply cannot do it if I have nothing to blog about. Much like my writing, I need true inspiration. I need for the light in my head to go, "Bing!" and set my fingers off on their quest for paragraphs. I don't necessarily need for my muse to sing in my heart or anything so dramatic, but I do need a little something of a push. Just a nudge, really, to get me going.

It is for that reason, faithful readers, that this blog does not get updated as frequently as some other peoples I could mention. /glance-at-wife

I have a confession to make. For the last year or so, I've been writing nothing. I went through the outline of my book and discovered I'd lost all interest in creating that work of fiction. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing, that novel, it just didn't mesh with the time and place I am here in my life. I guess I could force it, but it wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't live and breathe the way I want it to. Best to just let it lie. Perhaps one day I'll come back to it in my mind and it will be there, ready for another go-round through the machinery of my typewriter.

I need a new project, something fresh to spark my interest. Unfortunately, these past several months have provided no inspiration. Working in an office doing quality assurance does not provide the stimulus I need. What do I need? That, readers, is the truly frustrating part. I have no idea what it is that might be the restorative balm for my badly blistered creative streak. My wife and I have discussed it at length and nothing we've touched upon has truly felt like "the answer."

I sometimes wonder whether there is something mentally or physically wrong with me. I do have symptoms, they are as follows:

1> I am tired all the time. From the time I wake up to the time I go to bed, I feel drained.
2> I can't sleep. I toss and turn, and when in bed I feel unbearably hot even though we turn the AC down to cool at night and I sleep on top of the covers with a fan on me.
3> I can't concentrate. I am easily distracted and I procrastinate in my work.
4> My memory is complete garbage. It requires supreme effort to remember even very simple things.
5> I can't lose weight. No matter what I do with my diet or how hard I excercise, this weight refuses to go away.
6> I have no motivation. Any goal I set for myself is usually forgotten by the next day.
7> My sex drive is very low. Basically no interests there on a day to day basis.
8> I'm frequently stricken with feelings of "unreality". Even as I write this I feel like it's someone else doing it and I'm just watching.

Maybe some friendly MD will wander through my blog and tell me what the problem might be. I know I should probably see a doctor but I can't even work up the drive to do *that*.

I need help.